Hi Sweet Friends
Welcome to the weekend. How has your week been? I thought I would share with you this afternoon one of the reasons I knew I had to start my business.
Growing up, I had many insecurities some of which came from having wild curly hair and size 10 feet. I was the classic case of the ugly duckling and my self esteem suffered as a result. I was never the cool popular kid and I wished for most of me to be different. I cursed being so quiet and shy I couldn’t speak to people, I hated school photos because I knew I’d be embarrassed with the result which everyone would get and I hated my long curly hair which refused to be tamed.
Fast forward to high school and things didn’t improve. Instead of embracing my womanhood, I felt ugly and awkward, and the teasing didn’t stop. The result was that I suffered from a lack of self esteem and confidence.
To combat this I tried to control everything and make things right. I started overthinking, needing to come up with a plan a, b, c and possibly d. I worked hard and was highly critical of myself, always expecting more. Finally, the negative comments outweighed my normal positive self. My overthinking evolved into anxiety, and fear pervaded my life. I was embarrassed and ashamed that simple tasks like driving to work or going shopping could strike fear into me. Throughout this time I looked and acted like old Nikki but just under the surface I was struggling with normal daily life. I became an expert at avoidance and lying to myself and others, and the added guilt was soul destroying.
The turning point came when I realised I couldn’t go on like this, it was too hard. I had to either get help and live or die. My family had also started noticing my excuses and avoidance. It was in a way a relief. Instead of living a lie, I could be me, warts and all.
I was lucky, I had great support, found a wonderful psychologist and naturopath and started the journey back to me. In those times when I was at my darkest, I cursed to God, asking why me, I’ve been through enough, where is my picket fence life.
The answer came through loud and clear when I made space for it. I’m now a confident, self assured woman with compassion and empathy. I have a Masters from university, I have industry qualifications in Lean/Six Sigma, Life Coaching and NLP. I’m a Flight Sergeant in the Royal Australian Air Force. But my proudest achievement is clawing my way back from rock bottom. One hard frightening moment at a time. I know what it’s like to want to give up. I also know how to be a winner in both your work and your personal life and really turn your life around.
This is what I want for you, it’s the reason for what I’ve been through. Let me be an example of all you can achieve.
Share this with anyone you know with anxiety