Surfing The Change Curve

Surfing The Change Curve Programme

“Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear: I am not screwing around. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go…you are still searching and you are more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. You were born worthy of love and belonging. Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen” – Brene Brown (you can read the whole blog post at www.brenebrown.com)

The lady sitting across the table looked down for a few seconds then back up at me and said quietly ‘I just feel overwhelmed’. Tears started to swell in her eyes and she looked exhausted.

This is a regular occurrence in the career I have chosen, working with people who are transitioning through change. Whether they have been given notice their job is ending, working through a separation or making changes for other reasons, most of the people I work with are facing significant disruption and change.

Change is seldom chosen, not many people wake up on a Monday morning and say ‘I think I am due for a major life change’. Congratulations if you do.

Although they haven’t chosen it, once the shock and fear subside many people tell me they haven’t been happy for a while, felt they were in a rut or have been wondering if there is more to life.

I’m finding as people get older around 40-50, things can start to change. Kids leave home, relationships change, you may have reached a position in your company where you feel stuck, you experience a milestone birthday, all of these things can have you thinking that maybe it is time for you.

Is it time to write that book, take that trip on the Tran-Siberian Railway, work for that charity etc, things you have always wanted to do but put off. Suddenly these things have a ticking timeframe and you ask yourself if not now, when?

But you don’t know how to start or what to do or how to make it happen. Sometimes you don’t know what you want, but it’s just not this.

Here are some tips for working through this change:

1. Allow yourself space to explore your options – give yourself permission to take the time for yourself. Get into your creative zone.

2. Brainstorm ideas – include the pro’s, con’s and costs (both financial and personal).

3. Break your goal down into small achievable steps – plan it out including timeframes.

4. Keep motivated – surround yourself with motivated people and strategies.

5. Reward yourself as you work through this change – know that you are in a small group of people who actually make their dreams happen.

Through out this transition be very kind to yourself and take care of you. When we are in unfamiliar territory, negative self talk and doubt can kick in. Talk to yourself as though it is your best friend going through it. Be super supportive!

Change can be tough but it doesn’t have to be. You can achieve it on your own following the five steps above. If you need support to work through it and keep on track my Surfing The Change Curve Programme may be for you.

– Six coaching sessions
– Email support throughout
– Structured brainstorming
– Goal setting and support/accountability to achieve them

Contact me for further information.

Is it your time to be like the guy in the photo?

Nikki

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